Greetings. If you haven’t heard from me in a while, it’s because I’ve been dealing with my husband’s health crisis and haven’t had the energy left for anything else. Instead of researching fun topics for my next book, I’ve been occupied looking into home safety features such as grab bars and handrails, medical supplies such as shower seats and walkers, clothing such as slip-free socks, and other items I hadn’t expected us to need for years. After a bad fall, my husband’s recovery is finally heading toward the light at the end of the tunnel
I do realize we are more fortunate than others who have lingering disabilities. We’re not out of the woods yet but my husband is significantly improved from when he came home from the hospital (after several admissions). We live on a day-to-day basis, not knowing when the next challenge will arrive. But who does? You do your best with what you are given, and I’ve been blessed with endless support from family and friends. I’m immensely grateful to those of you who have offered prayers, tangible support, and/or good wishes.
At this time, I am groping my way back to a routine but still have ceaseless management duties in terms of scheduling doctor appointments and organizing our insurance and caregiver records. Having a handle on these items makes me feel more in control. When something new arises, my thoughts scatter and I can only center on the situation at hand. There’s been little space in my brain lately for book-related musings. Hence the hiatus on my blog.
My heart goes out to those of you who act as caregivers for loved ones. It’s one of the hardest jobs on the planet. My ultimate relief is reading and watching movies on TV. Thank goodness for stories that help us escape.
How do you cope when life throws you a curveball and upsets your routine?
24 thoughts on “Tumultuous Times”
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My heart goes out to you, Nancy. So happy to hear your husband is on the mend. Sending healing thoughts and energy.
Thanks, Mary. Your healing wishes are much appreciated!
I am so sorry you and your husband are going through all this. I hope that your husband continues to improve and get stronger each day.
How do you cope with life throws you a curveball? You do the best you can. You set new priorities and do the things that must be done. You leave what is less important for later as you remind yourself that you have limitations and can’t do it all. One thing that is often overlooked is asking for help. You can’t take care of someone if you have expended all your energy and there is nothing left within you. Caregivers need a respite whether to sleep or spend a few hours alone in a park to recharge. Take care of yourself ask well.
Thankfully things are easing up. I don’t know how other caregivers do it full-time. It’s a demanding and relentless job. I am lucky to have support from family and friends.
Nancy and Richard
Wishing you strength and continued recovery and healing of body, mind and spirit.
Many thanks, Robbin!
Hi Nancy, glad things are slowly getting back to normal. When my mom was caring for my dad (dementia) her Sr citizens group offered respite care. They would send someone over to sit with him for the afternoon or evening while she went out. It could have been any need, a hair cut, shopping, a movie. It didn’t matter, just that she got a little time away. Helped her tremendously. You should look into services like this in your area. It may give you the break you need!
It’s great your mom had that service available in her area. I’ve hired health aides so have all the help I need for now. Easing off on the anxiety is something else, however.
Just take one day at a time. I nursed my husband for 3 years but we were at peace knowing God was in control. Without out that I don’t know how people manage. Take all the offers of help you can. Unfortunately I had to manage all. But I wouldn’t change anything because it brought all of my girls closer to the Lord.❤️
You are a special person to be a caregiver for 3 years. That’s a long time especially without help. I am fortunate that I could hire health aides.
These health issues you thought were years away creep up on you. We added a downstairs bed and bath suite so I could avoid the narrow steep stairs to the second floor. No throw drugs snd bars in the shower. And I now use a cane for walking. All these changes are necessary for safety, but are annoying and make me feel older than I think I should be.
We’ve had to do the same things in our house. These modifications are necessary but depressing. Make us realize how old we are and how more vulnerable.
So Sorry that you are going thru a tough patch right now.
Thanks, it helps to get support from friends like you.
Nancy,
I took care of my grandmother while I was in college. I had to drop out of college because care-giving is a full time endeavor, so I truly understand what you are going through. Reading and movies were a comfort for me as well. I hope you have a support network of friends to listen and encourage you as well. They are worth the finest gold during these times.
Yes, thanks, I have friends and family who have been very supportive. How generous of you to sacrifice your schooling to look after your grandmother. Caregivers are not given the attention and accolades they deserve.
Sending you and your husband good thoughts. One day at a time is all we can do. Try not to forget to take some time for yourself- even if it’s only 15 minutes here and there.
One day at a time is so right. We’re getting to the point where I can resume some of my morning activities like checking email and revising pages I’ve already written.
Nancy, I live alone. I’m retired, and don’t have nearby family to help. I’ve had support and assistance from friends (before COVID, my friend Joan took me to and from my chemo treatments). My online “family” has also been supportive. May God continue looking after you and your husband.
You are fortunate to have good friends to help you. We are fairly new to this area and still need to meet people, but we have lots of family here and a few writer pals. Thank you for your kind words.
Lovely column, Nancy. I look forward to seeing Richard on his feet once again very soon. And your stress levels greatly reduced.
Thanks, Charlotte. I am so glad we can resume our walks again. Let’s hope the forward momentum keeps going.
Good to see an update, Nancy. Glad your husband continues on the mend. Caregiving is tough, especially for those of us who like to be orderly, organized and have an agenda to follow. A lot of shifting priorities and juggling with caregiving but of course necessary and worth it – and who better to do it than someone who always has a list and a plan? Hang in there and enjoy that adorable grandson. Take care of yourself. Sally
The lists and the plans went out the door during this crisis. All you can do is go with the flow and keep up with what’s necessary. Happily, things have calmed down to the point where I can follow a basic routine, at least for now. I am grateful for all the support of family and friends like you.