Nancy's Notes From Florida

Common Writing Mistakes

September 18, 2012

Recently, I’ve been judging writing contest entries. Below are some of the common problems I have discovered among these manuscripts. Out of several entries, only one passed muster. It was well written, kept my interest, had an interesting “voice” and an intriguing premise. I’d read this book if more was available.

The other submissions, however, were painful to get through. Here are some of the problems I encountered so you can avoid them in your work. I use the pronouns “he” or “she” interchangeably as this advice applies to readers and writers of both genders.

Establish the Setting Up Front

As soon as possible into the story, establish the place, season, and time of day. Remember your Who, What, Why, Where, and When. Try to work these into the opening pages unobtrusively. Example: Crickets chirped their nightly chorus, the music of summer. Or: Late afternoon sunlight glinted off an icicle hanging from the roof. Also, don’t mention a street name or landmark and assume the reader knows where this place is. Be specific and give a location.

Make Your Characters Likeable

Remember to address your character’s goals, motivation, and conflict. If you show her acting in an unfavorable manner, what made her that way? Motivate her behavior so the reader understands where she’s coming from and sees the light at the end of the tunnel with character growth by the book’s end. Give her redeemable qualities so we can like certain aspects of her. If not, the reader won’t care and that’s the death knoll to your story.

This also applies to the anti-hero. What makes him redeemable? Why should I, the reader, care about him? Also, what does your character want? If he wanders aimlessly through life with no particular goals, that makes me as a reader less interested in him. Unless, of course, you give me a reason why he behaves that way. Maybe he lacks confidence in himself because of a past event. Maybe he’s afraid of failure. Knowing this will make me more sympathetic toward him.

Watch Your Use of Bad Language

The occasional curse word may be acceptable for a romance hero who’s a hard ass or for a heroine in the urban fantasy genre or for guy fiction in general, but elsewhere it may raise a reader’s hackles. It can also turn off some readers completely, so this language should be sprinkled in judiciously, if at all. Add it only if it helps to define a character, not because it’s the way you speak or because you believe it makes your protagonist seem tough. Always ask yourself: is this necessary? If not, leave it out. Or deploy a substitute, like “frak” on Battlestar Galactica. If writing sex scenes, consider the subgenre. Certain words that may be acceptable for erotica might be too graphic or crude for readers with more delicate sensibilities, especially those who read romances more for the stories than the love scenes. Remember the old adage: Less is better, especially if you want to expand your readership.

Show, Don’t Tell

To keep the pace flowing, use mostly dialogue and action and minimal exposition. If you have long passages where nothing happens except the protagonist thinks to herself or explains to the reader what happened, the story comes to a dead halt. You want to imbue a sense of immediacy in your story, and that won’t happen unless you involve the reader. Telling me what is going on isn’t nearly as gripping as showing me. Each chapter should start and end with a hook. Again, long meandering passages of narration will not encourage the reader to turn the page and may put her to sleep instead. Also keep in mind that reader attention spans are shorter today. What worked in past prose doesn’t work in this age of technological marvels.

Save Flashbacks for Later

The first chapter is your only chance to grab the reader so she’ll continue your story. If you segue into a flashback, the forward momentum is lost. Who cares what happened in the past? Throw in a line or two in dialogue or introspection to show us and then move on. Or make it part of the story action, like in a confrontation with a friend or a hesitation on the part of the main character to perform some act. Work backstory in with minimal intrusion in your first few chapters. Flashbacks will kill pacing, so again, remove those long passages of remembrances. Only retain what is necessary to explain the current action. Later, after you’ve hooked the reader, you can work this info into the story, hopefully through dialogue.

Every Conversation Should Have a Purpose

When I say that you should use dialogue generously, I don’t mean that two friends should get together and chat meaninglessly on matters that don’t move the story forward. Dialogue should serve a purpose: reveal information, define character, move the plot ahead, offer reaction and reflection on what’s just occurred. So ask yourself as you approach a conversation, what do you want to get across in this segment? If you don’t have a point to make, delete the scene.

Proofread Your Work

Would you send an editor a manuscript that you haven’t read through to check for typos? No? Then why send one to a contest where mechanics are judged? Proofread your work for typos, dropped punctuation marks, repetitions and misspellings.

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Most of the entries I’ve read have been competently written. In some cases, the author’s voice comes through as distinctive and engaging. However, the writing itself isn’t the problem. It’s the content— in particular the pacing, structure, and/or character motivations. Does a crisis or a change happen to the character at the start so that she (or he) experiences a call to action? Does the story move forward from there? Or does it stumble while you detour into a long introspection or memory sequence? Do you involve the reader in the action or tell us what happened? Is your character passive or proactive? Have you done all you can to attract new readers and not repel them with questionable language? Reread your first three chapters. If you were an editor, would you want to read more?



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Cooking Class

September 7, 2012

My husband and I have attended various cooking classes throughout our time together. We started in Gainesville where he had a fellowship and we had an infant. Taking these courses together gave us something fun to do. We took a series on French cooking and then another on Chinese cuisine. Sporadically thereafter, we’d sign up for adult education classes learning everything from chicken recipes to cake decorating (he didn’t attend that one).

Recently, we’ve been rediscovering this interest since Publix opened a cooking school here.

The classrooms are on the second floor of a newly remodeled store. Last night we attended our third class there. I’d hoped to learn some meat recipes since the only beef I can cook is brisket.

On the menu first was grilled five spiced salmon with coconut crostini. This was a large slab of salmon steak (although it looked like a filet?) grilled lightly to just cook through, served on a toasted crostini with coconut flakes. It was delicious and my favorite dish of the evening. Accompanying white wine blend was Hot to Trot by 14 Hands. I liked this a lot.

Salmon (800x665)

Next came a good company dish—mushroom, spinach, and smoked Gouda stuffed flank steak. I liked the stuffing more than the meat that could have been cooked a bit more. A red wine was served with this portion. We’ve had Chateau St. Jean cabernet before and still enjoy it.

Chef (800x600)   Flanksteak (800x588)

If you like spicy foods, you’d like the cocoa and three pepper dusted beef tenderloin with grilled fingerling potatoes. This called for three kinds of chili powder along with garlic and onion powders to make a blend and rub on the tenderloin. The potatoes were boiled then halved and placed on the grill for just a few minutes. They were good, but I prefer my own roasted red potatoes with garlic and rosemary.

Tenderloin (800x588)

The menu was crowned with balsamic strawberry shortcake napoleons. This was an easy fix with balsamic vinegar dribbled over fresh sliced strawberries mixed with a bit of confectionary sugar. Whip some heavy cream into a froth and then put this into individual puff pastry cups you can buy in the freezer section. Top the whipped cream with strawberries and you have a fresh fruit dessert. The wine here was a sauvignon blanc from Simi winery in Sonoma.

Strawberry (800x680)

We had pleasant conversation with the chefs and other attendees while sampling all the foods and sipping wines—a pleasant evening to be had by all.



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How Can Readers Help Authors?

August 31, 2012

If you’re an avid reader, no doubt you’d like to encourage your favorite authors to keep writing. What can you do to help?

Write customer reviews on Amazon, BookBub, and other online reader sites.

Add the author’s book to your Wish List on Amazon and TBR pile on Goodreads.

Search for the author’s website, author name, and book titles periodically to raise their rank in search engines.

Like the author’s Facebook page; Share and comment on her Facebook posts.

Retweet author’s Twitter posts and Like their Instagram posts.

Forward the author’s newsletter to a friend.

Recommend the author’s books to your book club.

Look for good reviews of the author’s book and click Yes to “Was this review helpful to you?”

Follow author’s blog tours and leave comments.

Repin author’s photos on Pinterest.

Offer to hand out bookmarks for the author.

Offer to lead a Street Team of fans to spread the word about the author’s works.

Suggest the author as a speaker at community events and writing workshops.

Buy the author’s latest book or ask your librarian to order it.

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Anything you can do will help, especially in this era of viral content. Word of mouth still has the most effect.



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The Wrap Scene

August 22, 2012

You’re approaching the end of your book. Do you finish in a spate of action, or do you have your characters meet in a quiet scene where they reflect on what’s occurred? In a romance, these last pages are where the hero proposes and the main characters profess their love for each other. In a mystery, this scene serves a different purpose. It’s where all loose ends are tied up and final explanations for the crime come to light. Use the following steps as a guideline for your own work.

The authorities reveal information they previously couldn’t discuss.

In the course of an investigation, the police/detectives/federal agents cannot reveal all that they know. But once the killer is in custody, they can explain the rationale that led them to determining the murderer’s identity. In my Bad Hair Day mysteries, hairstylist Marla Vail is married to a homicide detective. Her husband Dalton may discuss some aspects of the crime with her earlier on, but much of what he learns cannot come out until later. Marla follows a different path to targeting the killer. This final scene may show them exchanging information on how each one arrived at the same conclusion but from a different angle.

The villain’s means, motives, and opportunity are exposed.

What drove the villain to commit the crime? How did he do it? Very likely, in the previous chapter, the hero confronted the killer, who may have confessed. But here is where you can fill in the sordid details and psychological aspects of the crime.

The survivors are not forgotten.

Even if you’re writing a light cozy mystery, the murder affects people. What happens to the victim’s family? How about the killer’s close relations? Two sets of tragedies occur here. What are the ramifications for these people?

What has the protagonist learned?

This is perhaps the most important item. Your main character, the amateur sleuth, has been affected by these events in some way. What has she learned from this experience? How have the people around her changed? How does this sequence of events change her plans for the future?

Set up for the sequel.

Has a new person been introduced into your universe who may play a larger role next time? Is there an unsolved mystery that’s part of a bigger story arc? Or does your main character receive a call to action that he has to accept? Here is where you can drop a hint of what’s to come.

Revisit old friends.

This final scene might take place between your main characters alone, or among recurrent characters whom your readers have come to regard as friends. This decision will arise from your setting and from the people who’ve peppered your story. Genre expectations may play a role here, too. In a romance, usually the hero and heroine are focused on each other at the end. Anything goes in a mystery, thriller, or sci-fi/fantasy, but make sure the ending has emotional impact no matter which characters it includes.

Frame the story.

If you began your story with a particular setting, you may want to return there for your final scene. Framing the tale in this manner resonates with readers.

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It’s hard to remember everything that’s happened when you write the first draft of this scene. No doubt you’ll add more later during self-edits. It helps to write down all the loose ends when you do a continuous read-through. Then you can check off each item as it’s answered in the story and fill in any missing information by the final chapter. Keep in mind that it’s important to end your story on an emotional note that will satisfy readers and encourage them to look for your sequel without delay.



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Weddings as Inspiration

August 1, 2012

We recently attended a family wedding, and it reminded me why I used a wedding as my setting in Shear Murder, book ten in the Bad Hair Day mystery series. The sheer sentimentality, the joy of the married couple, the suspension of family conflict for one evening, lend themselves to an outburst of passion that can have good or bad results. In my story, it ends in the matron of honor’s death, her body found by my hairdresser sleuth under the cake table.

This particular wedding took place at a magnificent site in Mitchellville, Maryland: the Newton White Mansion. Surrounded by beautiful acreage, this historic house is the perfect setting for a nuptial ceremony.

Newton White (800x600)   Mansion (800x600)

Mansion View (800x600)   Mansion View2 (800x600)

The processional began to the music of violinists. A more beautiful bride couldn’t be found. A traditional Jewish wedding followed, with all of the customs described in my earlier blog. The wedding program explained each ritual in detail. At the breaking of the glass, cheers erupted.

Bride (800x600)

After the bridal party exited and slipped away to take photos, we entered a separate smaller room for cocktails and appetizers.

Cocktails (800x600)   RichNan (800x600) (2)

Dinner and dancing followed with live, pulse-pounding music. Young people might like it that loud, but we couldn’t be heard over the noise. I prefer quieter, romantic dance music for a wedding or at least rock decibels that don’t beat through your head. Anyway, the dinner was delicious. Stuffed lobster tail and filet mignon followed a mixed greens salad. I was most impressed by the magnificent flower arrangements. The centerpieces were exquisite. Again, my writer’s brain erupted with ideas. I remembered an unpublished story of mine wherein floral wiring was used as a method of murder. I can’t help it; we writers are unable to turn off our storytelling mind. And I’d also had the foresight to bring business cards in my beaded clutch purse.

Those treats that look like lollipops are cake pops, all the rage in the dessert stores these days. I thought they were the dessert and ate two. Chocolate covered strawberries accompanied them. Then wedding cake got passed around. Oy! I was too full to eat another bite.

Reception2 (800x600)   Flowers (800x600)

Dinner (800x600)   Cake Pops (800x600)

Cake (630x800)   Cake Cutting (800x653)

We left the mansion feeling happy, sated, and tired. We spent the rest of our time in Maryland eating meals with family, touring downtown D.C., and strolling around Bethesda. So much time, money, and planning go into a wedding, and it goes by so fast! But such is life, and these events live on in my stories and in my heart.



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